I'm Cold
by FireBlaze401
Summary: After the battle with Tartaros, Gray leaves to think about what he's done. Someone shows up and helps him through his guilt. Not pairing but it could be if you want. Manga spoilers.


Well... the idea just popped into my mind one day. I'm actually working on another Fairy Tail fic, but this one was shorter and basically begging to be written. So here it is! Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail or any of its characters. All rights go to Hiro Mashima.

Read and Review!

* * *

He was cold.

After having lived in the snowy continent of Isvan for a good part of his life, not to mention his having ice magic, Gray had developed an immunity to the cold. During the winter, he had no problem throwing on a T-shirt or just going outside without a shirt. Sure, he got some weird looks sometimes, but he never paid any attention to them. There was no point in trying to explain anyway.

Gray leaned back and let his hands make a deeper indent on the snow beneath him. He closed his eyes and tried to remember the last time he had felt cold. Laughing, the first thing he thought of was when he was Ur's disciple. He was sure that no master made her pupils strip in the snow just to learn ice magic. And now, he had to deal with a stripping habit. Gray chuckled at the fond memories; from the warm ones, like the feel of Ur's scarf around his and Lyon's necks to the cold ones, like the ice bath that Ur made them take every couple of days. Gray breathed out and watched as his breath fogged up. He looked up at the grey sky and watched the small flecks of snow fall gently to the ground, blending in with its kin on the ground. Gray let the snow fall softly into his palm. As usual, it was as if it wasn't even there. The pristine white snowflake stayed in his palm, still frozen and showing no signs of melting. Gray clenched his fist, crushing the delicate snowflake. Somewhere along the way, he mused, he had forgotten what it was like to feel cold.

The next instance that he could recall was when he was still a child, innocent and carefree before Deliora destroyed his whole village. He thought back to his mother's warm cooking and his father's hair ruffling. His father. Gray shuddered at the memory of what he had done to his father, or rather his father's corpse, during their fight with Tartaros. He had killed him; tore a gaping hole right through his father's chest, the chest he used to hug on a particularly cold day in his village. Of course, the guilt he felt was crushing. It seemed as if everyone who was close to him ended up dying at some point. He gnashed his teeth in frustration and hugged his knees to his chest, head burrowing into his knees.

"It's cold…"

* * *

It was funny, really. He had felt this same kind of cold before: numbing, unrelenting and heavy. He felt it when Deliora destroyed his village, when he found his parents dead, when Ur casted Iced Shell and the morning after when Lyon looked at him with those cold, dead eyes. He didn't think he had anything left to lose. He had developed immunity to the natural cold; why not this one? He hadn't even known his father was alive. Not to mention the fact that he had killed members of the council. He had been an enemy to his family. Why was this affecting him so much?

_Because you murdered him._

Gray's head shot up as he turned around and tried to find the person who said that. All he was greeted with was the harsh winter wind and more snow in his face. Wiping the still solid snow off his face, he turned back around and rested his head on his knees.

_You murdered him. You're a murderer._

Gray's head shot up again at the voice. Damnit, who was messing with him? Slowly, he lowered it back down in defeat. The voice was right, and what it had said wasn't anything that Gray had never told himself. He sighed and watched again as his breath became visible and faded away into nothing.

_Your very existence is a curse._

Gray closed his eyes. The voice was right again, of course. Everything that he treasured eventually left him. He was powerless to protect those that he loved. How could he protect them from himself? Gray slumped down but continued to hug his knees to his body. Maybe if he left then everyone would be safe. He would never be close to anyone. That way, he would never have to feel cold again.

* * *

A warm hand clamped down on his shoulder. Looking up in surprise, he was met with the one person he never expected to see here.

"Natsu…" he breathed. He didn't think anyone would look for him; he was on the peak of Mt. Hakobe for god's sake!

"No one's seen you in a while. Everyone's looking for you," Natsu said. Gray looked away in guilt. He had made his family worry again. The pink haired mage sighed and took a seat next to the raven. He took a look at their surroundings. Gray sure had picked a gloomy spot to be. A tense silence settled in between the two.

"So are you going to tell me what's bothering you?" he asked. Gray looked up briefly before resting his head on his forearms again. He mumbled into his arms but Natsu's enhanced hearing picked up on it easily.

"I killed my father."

Natsu drew a sharp breath and immediately regretted it when the cold burn of winter air assaulted his sinuses. Clutching his nose, he turned back to his friend with wide eyes. Then that time with the man in the armour, he really was…

"Yeah. You've met him before. That was my dad, Silver. Or rather, my dad's corpse." Natsu raised an eyebrow but remained silent and waited for Gray to continue.

"He was killed that night years ago, when Deliora first destroyed my life. That necromancer guy in Tartaros, Keith I think my dad called him, just picked up his body and reanimated it. My dad pretended to be Deliora so that I could finally defeat the demon of my past. Of course, I was mad. I ended up defeating him by –" Gray choked on his words but continued, "throwing a steel ball through his chest. I-I killed him," Gray sobbed. Natsu was shocked speechless. He couldn't imagine the kind of pain that Gray was going through. He had had to kill his own father, his flesh and blood and a member of his family, just to protect his new family, Fairy Tail. He himself had lost Igneel right before his very eyes, but he couldn't imagine how painful it was for Gray, especially since Gray had now watched his father die twice. Gray curled up in on himself more.

"It's cold..." he mumbled. Natsu was at a loss for what to do. So hesitantly, he placed a reassuring arm around Gray's sob wracked frame. Gray looked up in surprise, his eyes blotchy and red. Natsu gave him a sad smile.

"You know… I lost Igneel in that fight." Gray's eyes widened.

"N-Natsu, I—" Natsu shook his head.

"You don't have to say anything, Gray. Just let me finish." Gray nodded and kept quiet. Natsu sighed and continued.

"Acnologia tore out most of his body when they were fighting. Igneel tore an arm off of him but still... he crashed to the ground and that bastard Acnologia flew away, that coward!" the Dragon Slayer gnashed his teeth together. He clenched his fist and Gray noticed it shaking in rage, but said nothing.

"I... I finally found him, after so long. And then he died. I didn't care if we lost the battle right then. I found him... my father. B-But then he—", Natsu's voice hitched as he recalled kneeling next to his father's fallen body and watching him disappear in a shower of sparks. A single tear rolled down his cheek and fell onto the cold snow below him, disappearing in a vast of white.

"Natsu..." Gray began. He didn't get any farther than that when Natsu slowly looked up and stared Gray in the eye.

"Gray... we're here for you. I can't say I understand exactly how you feel, but you know what Igneel told me? 'I am with you, now and always.' I'm sure your dad said something to you too." Gray's eyes widened.

_You've become a fine man, Gray. You are our pride and joy._

Gray sniffled as he felt his eyes began to water once again. He kept his head down and used his hand to cover his eyes. Natsu politely said nothing and just tightened his grip on the ice mage's shivering body.

"I- I'm sorry... I'm sorry...!" Gray whispered over and over. Natsu kept his head down and let a few tears of his own escape.

"I'm sure he knows... And I'm sure he's watching over you, Gray," he said. The two stayed like that, crying over their loss in the previous fight; a loss that both of them had experienced once before, but had been subjected to again, for the last time.

* * *

After Gray regained his composure, Natsu let him arm return back to his side.

"Do you want to head back to the guild? Everyone's been worried about you." Gray thought about it and shook his head.

"I still need a bit longer... to get over this. I'll go back soon though." Natsu nodded and looked away, starting to feel awkward after intruding on Gray's alone time. Just as he was about to stand up and leave, Gray's quiet voice stopped him.

"Natsu."

"Yeah?"

A pause. "Could you... stay for a while longer?"

Another pause. "Yeah." The Dragon Slayer settled himself back down on the snow covered ground. The two stayed silent for a long time and Natsu felt the urge to leave again. Once more, he was stopped by Gray.

"Natsu?"

"What is it?"

"Could you sit closer?" Natsu raised an eyebrow but obliged nonetheless, scooting close enough to Gray that their elbows were touching. Gray sighed in content.

"You're really warm... Natsu."

* * *

So how was it? Leave a review if you have time! I'd love to hear some feedback!


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